That Day When I Lost You
by Princess Antanasia the Vampire
Summary: He knew that he could never take back the words that he so longed to unsay. He also knew that he would never love another. When Severus saw James and Lily together for the first time, he knew his life would never be the same.


**Summary:** It was then when he knew that he had lost her. He knew that he could never take back the words that he so longed to unsay. He also knew that he would never love another. When Severus saw James and Lily together for the first time, he knew his life would never be the same.

**Author's Note: Ah! Such a Jily shipper it's not even funny. But even I can't ignore poor Severus…Enjoy this, if you can. It's another one of those really depressing ones…I need to lighten up, I know. But I am working with Chapter Four of Chosen and Chapter Three of Daughter of a Mage. Hang in there…**

**PATV**

**Disclaimer:** This brilliance is JKR's.

_Out of all the spells in the world_, Severus wondered, _why isn't there one to_ _take back something you said?_ He glanced up at Lily, recognizable from behind by her long auburn hair. He watched her walk down to the lake from his spot underneath a tree. He wanted her to forgive him. It had been an accident – he hadn't wanted to call her that. She sat down at the edge of the Black Lake in the shade. Severus put his book away in his bag. He stood and dusted off his robes. He started to make his way to where she sat, ready to offer a heartfelt and desperate apology. She hadn't spoken to him in a fortnight and he was miserable. She was all he could think about; he dreamed about her. She would understand; she had to understand. How could he possibly survive without her? He needed to see her smile, hear her laugh, and he needed the ache he felt when he brushed back her hair and she didn't understand the meaning attached to the motion. He needed those rare moments when he thought maybe she loved him too.

He approached her slowly, planning in his head what he would say.

"_Lily, please, just hear me out. I'm so sorry about what I said. I swear that I didn't mean to – I don't even think of you with that word. I don't know why it came out of my mouth and please just forgive me. I can't breathe without. I love you Lily. Say something Lily, please." The Lily of his fantasy did not say anything, though. Instead she smiled at him radiantly and put her arms around him. She was going to kiss him and he thought he was going to die of happiness and_ –

Severus was pushed to the ground. The contents of his bag skittered away from him in all directions. He looked up into the face of James Potter. James grinned and said,

"Sorry Snivellus. Didn't see you there." From his tone and the look on his face it was clear he had. Severus stood up as Potter walked away.

"Is that it?" Severus couldn't prevent himself from asking. James turned around.

"That's all I got time for, sorry. On my way to an important meeting." Potter said maliciously. "But Sirius is around if you're feeling the need to be made a joke out of." He laughed cruelly at Severus and walked away. Severus bent to pick up his fallen books and parchment. A bottle of ink had spilled everywhere and he tried to clean it up with no success before shoving everything back into his bag. He stood again, preparing to head back to his dorm to see what homework was salvageable and what had to be redone.

He turned back for one more, wistful look at Lily. He stared for a moment, longingly. He stood for a moment undecided as to whether he should go save all his hard work, or try and fix things with Lily. His love for his best friend won out and he moved towards the lake, once more envisioning how his apology and confession would play out.

"_I love you Lily. I have for forever and will always. Please understand."_

"_I love you, too Severus. And I forgive you…"_

He stopped short several yards away. He watched horrified and transfixed as Lily – _his_ Lily – rose to greet James Potter. He could not hear what they were saying, but he was making her smile. She stepped out of the shade closer to James. The sunlight made her hair shine as she kissed him. After the longest most painful moment of his life, Severus looked away. He fought back hot tears as he turned to run away. He took one last look back towards her, his beautiful Lily Evans, just as she pulled away from Potter. She was smiling radiantly and laughing.

And then she saw him. Her eyes hardened as they met his. And then they softened as she understood his agony. Her lovely face told him that she was sorry for his pain but that this is the way things were now and she did not want them to be different.

He looked away first.

**Author's Note Part II: I DO NOT THINK JAMES IS AN ASS. BUT THIS IS THROUGH SNAPE'S EYES. I LOVE JAMES.**


End file.
